My Family and I

Written by

Lavender Marie Bernhardt

Copyright Sept. 9, 2000

This background represents my little sister, Penny,
who has been helping me with me this
Love you, little sis.

I was born on March 25th 1945 at 7:05am.

My daddy was so nice to me that I went with him as a child until the day I got married. I was one special child. I was not born right like other children. As a child, my Dad treated me like I was the most special person in the world. I remember that every time he went somewhere I would always go with him. I used to hold his hand, I felt so secure, and I was so proud of myself to know he was my dad. You see, before he became a minister, he worked for the watch factory making the famous Waltham watches. Then he got laid off. He used to sell shoes and we use to bring the catalog to different ones in our city. They all spoiled me. Then he became a newspaperman. I remember going on interviews with him. It was fun or at least at the time I thought so. I used to get a lot of things from people like drinks and cookies. Sometimes I used to see people cry because they had no place to live. This was after WWII then the day came when dad decided to change churches and we went to the Seventh Day Adventist church.

I went to the Greater Boston academy. I did my kindergarten at the pubic schools. I went to the Fitch school and had Miss Redmond as my teacher. She took me under her wing. I used to clap the erasers after school then walk homewith my older sister. It was not far from me. We ended up moving to another home. How strange it is that I live one street up from the Thomas Hill School. It still stands but is now vacant. We lived across the street in a white house with a white picket fence. I remember as a child going to school there and being a brat. I used to get into trouble and had to sit under the teacher's desk and I used to make faces at the kids. My mom would spank me. Wonder why?

My mother would always call me a crybaby and Dad would get mad at her. She ruled the roost in our home and with a heavy hand and a leather belt, with the buckle on it, Which I got quite a few times. She used to make us go beyond our chores. A lot of times, I did not understand her and as a result I got the belt across the hips. If she called you by your first and middle name, you ran like hell out of her way, that meant the buckle. We had a washing machine that had rollers on top to wring the clothes out. This particular morning I was helping her when she got her hand stuck in the wringer Daddy was home and he got her hand out. I remember her making lye soap for the clothes. She used to can vegetables, jellies, and made everything by scratch, She also made maple sugar from the sap of the tree. We had an icebox, I use to love it when the iceman came. He used to give us ice and we used to put maple syrup on it, yummy. My Mom used to make all our clothes only underwear was bought. She used to look at the clothes in the stores, buy the material and make them. My Mom was a buyer for Park Snows. We were always dressed real well, better than the kids were in our neighborhood. She would make some of the kid's clothes from left over material. Mom also was an interior decorator and we had a beautiful apartment when we lived on Lowell Street. We never owned any property. My Mom tried to buy a two family home for a 100 dollars. In those days it was real cheap too buy a house but Daddy did not want to be a landlord.

I am thinking back to when I was child I remember jumping up and down in my crib singing "Jesus Loves me but my mommy don't". One day I stole a dime from my mother's purse and went across the street to buy penny candy and the store called my Mom and told her where I was. I walked home from the store a got a good spanking for it but I did get manage to get my candy and eat it.

Then, came our house fire and we were homeless. I was put in a foster home, my brother was put in another one as he had polio. The woman he was with was a nurse. He used to be in an iron lung. I do not remember for how long. My baby sister was sent to a farm and she was abused really badly. She and I also were put in the same home at one time. I remember Mrs. Brown, she used to have me over to her house so I could eat as I hardly had anything to eat. My parents used to send us clothes and my foster parents daughter would wear them. She even got my first cowgirl suit, my mother made it for me. I remember to this day how I used to be put under hot and cold water. Her husband did it to me, I was always getting blamed for everything his kid did. I am very scared of hot and cold water. I wonder if I will ever get over the fear of it. I do take showers but I get in and wash very fast and get out again. I was also put in a closet with the door locked three days.

Slow, but sure, we were all together again as a family as Mom and Daddy found another apartment. It was hard on Penny and I as we were both very much abused. We were both scared that we would be abused again. How right we both were to be scared, my Mom loved to use the belt buckle on us. To this day I am very much afraid of it. I have scars on my hips from it.

I remember at Christmas time Santa Claus coming to the house and we got clothes and toys. We got to play with one toy. I remember getting a box with a cardboard city and having to put it together it came with a drug store with candy pills in it of course I had to eat the candy pills. The year I got the cardboard city, I was running a high fever and I went into a coma. I remember seeing a ladder and I started to climb up it when I got to the third step I saw a yellow light shinning brightly a voice told me to go back. I do not know how long I was out but I woke up with a tube in my nose and throat. My brother told the doctors I had taken 100 aspirins and I did not

I was in a room, it was tall a round table with all the doctors sitting there. They asked me how I got to the hospital and I said by cab they asked me who told me. I said my mommy and daddy did and they laughed at me. Soon, I was back home again. I hated hospitals; all I can remember is being in there most of my childhood. I was in the Children's Hospital in Boston, Mass., USA and they were trying to find out what was wrong with me. All the tests and blood tests were awful. I remember having a scan of my head and it hurt so bad I was crying. I wanted my mommy and Daddy. The nurses and Doctors hurt me. I never did find out what was wrong with me and my Mother never told me.

As a baby when I came home from the hospital, I had a Nanny. She turned out to I be my Godmother. I was told she dropped me and I fell. I also was very clumsy child. I use to fall a lot and never knew why until long after I was married. I was told I had Fibromyalgia.

I remember my mother going to work when Penny, Guy and I decided to use her Chinese lanterns in the cellar. We strung them up on the ceiling plugged them in and lit them up and we invited the neighborhood kids over. We had set up food and drinks and did not hear Mom came home, was she ever angry. We got a whipping. You should have seen those kids run out of the cellar and jump over the back fence. Billy ripped his pants on the fence. My mother his grandmother needles to say he got a whipping too, wonder why? We also had a pool in our backyard. Billy put a hole in the bottom of it and blamed us for it. Here we go again, we got a whipping not him. He finally confessed his turn finally came and he got a good whipping for it.

We use to jump the roof of the garage next door to us and look into the men's room. Uncle Wilber would holler "Hey Pearl they are at it again".  There we go again with a whipping.

In back of our house there was a field. It had an apple tree. It had a business on it. We used to climb the tree. One day, my sister climbed it and fell and broke her arm, needless to say, we were banned but we still sneaked over there. We almost got caught once Uncle Wilber yelled, "Pearl, They are in the tree". We got down real fast and ran like hell. We never got caught.

I remember having tea parties. We dressed our two Collies, Laddie and Bambie, up. Laddie had daddy's necktie on. Bambie dressed up in my mother?s good hat and apron. Daddy was upset. He got there before Mommy. He was upset, wonder why? He got this look on his face that made know he was upset. I said "Daddy you were not here so Laddie took your place and Bambie took mommy's place." He kind of understood.

I remember the day we were playing baseball in the yard and the bat hit my brother?s head and was bleeding. My mother took the stairs two at a time to get to him and she was so scared her face was white and us kids were scared too. He had a concussion.

In the winter, we would go to Lowell field and ice skate. We held each others hand and we did the whip and swung around. I found myself unhooked and went flying down on the ice. Was I embarrassed cause there were boys there.

I had three teachers that have made an impact on my life; Mr. Wright, Miss Redmond and Miss Dalton. Mr. Wright reminds me of Sidney Portiere in the film "To Sir With Love" He never got mad at me he was really kind. I fell in love with him. He was a hunk of a man. I can still see him. I was about 8 or 9 at the time.

Mrs. Coon, I can still remember her helping me with my studies. She was very patient with me. Guy, Penny and I use to go downstairs to her and Elder Coon's apartment to eat our lunch with two others. Elder Coon was the elder at the church. Miss Dalton use her hands to talk to us. I could understand her. I really loved being in her class. How strange it is we changed churches and she is there. I am so glad she and can still understand me.

I remember going to school by bus and trolley unless they were not running. When the weather was real bad, which was very rare.

I had a crush on Billy Ingles. He was a hunk. He use to take me home on the trolley and bus whenever I was sick. He, too, was like me with ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder). Of course, Penny had a big mouth and told him.

While we were at that church, we use to worship on Saturday's. When I turned 12, I was immersed and Elder Coon dropped me, under I went in the water, did I ever scream real loud. I could not catch my breath.

I remember sleeping over at a friend?s house, We had a bath in the kitchen there was a round tub on the floor they use to heat the water on the cast iron coal stove each one of us would bath in it. Then came supper Fried Chicken and dumplings and vegetables. There was no TV; we use to play games. Then came our prayers, then off to bed with a heated brick put under the covers to keep us warm. They had no heat except the kitchen stove.

I remember going to crane's beach the people who owned were friends of ours I fell in love with Steve Carolann with Kerry. One night Steve and I was in the cellar experimenting with the test tubes for science he mixed a little of this and that until it was boiling. Then he added one more thing to it. It was it ever boiling hard the next thing we saw a flare up and then it went bang it blew a hole in the ceiling my parents and his were sitting in the dining room when it blew no more dining room. I did not see not see Steve again wonder why. It could have been that both of us were a menace to society.

Then came the time to say by to the Greater Boston academy. It was so hard for me to say well by. We all landed back in the Public schools again. I was put back in the 6th Grade at the Plympton school I really hated school so much. My grades went from all A's plus to D and F's I hated public schools. The teachers and principle hated me big time I cried I missed my other teacher he had been so nice and kind to me and loved me as I did him as a teacher. I then came down real sick and had to be tutored I was sent to the hospital and had to be home for a year. We use to study on the pouch when it was nice out. She took the time with and made me understand what I was doing.

I remember one Saturday night I ate my mother's home made baked beans I was in real bad pain I was rushed to the hospital. I had ruptured my appendix and had to have them out the next Saturday night Penny had to have hers out then the following Saturday my brother was rushed up there and the Doctor said Boys do not have appendix he shut

>His mouth and went home. Years later when he was in the service he had his out and said to me when he was in the disabled room Boys do have appendix. Poor mom has never lived it down .I miss my brother in the disabled chat room hugs you I miss you so much.

When I was in the 7th grade I went to South Junior High School I hated that school a lot the teachers were real mean. I had algebra teacher she demanded I be an a plus student like my dad was she also use to drink out of a flask I later learned years later it was whiskey and she had bone cancer.

I could not take gym and had to sit on the benches I met this girl Sally she and I became great friends she is in politics as I am and has her own Television show on our local access. I also had a witch for a teacher. I cannot remember her name she was not married wonder why the old witch she looked, talked and acted like one to. She was my home room teacher she use to make me stand up and make me do my math in front of all and everyone would laugh at me cause I could not do it she took a ruler to me and cracked it on my knuckles. I remember all the girls had bras not me I was to small. Put on my training bra and stuffed toilet paper in it and man I thought I was so cool she grabbed me and turned me around in front of all the kids opened my blouse and pulled the toilet paper out was my face ever beet red. All the kids laughed and made fun of me. From that day on I did not want to go back to school. I could not wait till I could quit school at 16. At the end of the year I was suppose to have Mr. McGann as my homeroom teacher I really liked him but I was moving and would be in another school next year.

We then moved to the West End of the city I loved this place it was so neat. My landlady use to give me her clothes she did not want I loved them they were Southern clothes I looked so nice and felt like I was real grown up.

I went to the North Junior High School did my 8th grade there I was still in love with Steve but he was to far away from me. Then I fell in love with Paul he use to walk me home. Then low and behold I was 16 I quit school. During the summer I use to go to the common with my brother and sister we use to pick up service men and bring them for a home cooked meal then go dancing afterwards. I met a lot of guys I use to do care packages with popcorn; chips, candy and m& m cookies home made and include a letter. They use to write back.

After I turned 16 I was playing in the driveway on a stick and I fractured my foot on a crack in the driveway and was in a cast for the rest of the summer. My mother said I was going back to school or go to work no more loafing around Dad and Mom knew the manager of the lunch counter at Woolworth's and I got the job right after the cast was taken off. I really loved working there in the morning we had the police officers and business people ordering muffins and coffee or eggs, bacon and muffins and coffee. Refills on coffee were free. I use to make fifty cents an hour plus tips. At one time I was asst. manger and I use to come in real early to work and make up ham salad, Cole slaw, tuna fish salad, chicken salad and egg salad, cut up ham, chicken, fry up the bacon make sure the eggs were in the refrigerator. I then was asked to step down I do not remember why but I think it was because I had a hard time asking ones to come in and work at night they did not want to so I had to. I use to lug the dish buckets to the dishwasher who was Helen Lincoln they were very heavy. One time I was getting ready to clean the fry later I had turned it off. I put my hand in the hot lard and man oh man did it every hurt I burnt it my hand turned red and blistered it was all swollen. I still have a scare on my wrist. I also use to set up the lunch counter and clean the stools, refrigerators, the countertop, the mirrors, and the soda fountain I loved doing that.

Going back in time again!

>I became a Rainbow Girl when I was twelve I use to sing in the choir and wore a white gown my sister Penny was one too and my brother was a Demolay. There use to be police officers on every corner of moody street with a phone as we hit each street the officer would call my parents and tell them what street I was on. Just as we got near the house there was a street light on the corner in front of Uncle Wilber's garage Guy grabbed my bra off of me and threw it up on the lamp post I cried as I saw my new bra hanging from there.. The next morning he told the entire boy's it was my bra and he was so proud of himself. I went back and told mom and he good she punished him really good. I remember after school, we had to play outside till dad came home she would not let us in the house at all. She would lock the door even if we had to go to the bathroom or when he was working out of town she would call us in for supper when it was ready.

I ended up hating the cold weather my whole body hurt, in the hot weather, my whole body would ache real bad and becomes real weak. In the hot weather we had a pool sprinkler sand box and bikes. I use to my bike and use the training wheels till they came off I had blast till I kept falling off all the time and going back on it time after time.

As a child I use to go out naked and run up to everyone's porch's and steal all the cream off the milk and drink it until mom got a call from the neighbors saying your daughter just frank my cream. I hated wearing clothes. Mom use to say I walked outside real clean and the dirt would walk up to me .I often wonder why we have to wear clothes they just dirty again.

When Daddy became a minister I remember going with him to Boston on Sunday's he was with the United Church of Christ. You see dad was special in those days there was racial tension and my dad was the first white man to walk the streets in the Black community. I can still see big Jim waiting for us he was really tall he use to walk us to the church and back to the bus stop later on. He was our protector and anyone who dared to come near us. Better have said their prayers There use to be Sunday school and then Church. Church used to last about three hours and my dad use to preach for about an hour and a half. Every child had to sit perfectly still and we did not dare to move especially the Minister's child. I was the only white child there. I remember the Sunday dad had a heart attack on the pulpit I was so scared he would die. As I got older I would sing a solo in church I really loved that church. There were a couple of other ministers there they use to read the scriptures during church. Everyone dressed up I use to wear a dress and a straw hat with an elastic under my chin and white gloves hat with an elastic and black leather shoes.

In the winter I use to wear a snowsuit to keep me warm, as I was always cold my whole body hated the cold I use to go into muscle spasms. We left the house at eight am and get back home around three pm then back to church again for night services long day for me. But I loved it I was with daddy that was important to me. After church we use to go over to aunt Bell's home we had fried chicken. Vegetables mashed potatoes with gravy on it. I loved going there and for desert we had cake and ice cream. Her home was so beautiful. There were others we use to eat with but aunt Bell stands out in my mind more she was so much fun. I have met allot of dignitaries Like Senator Edward Brooks, Senator Rockefeller, Governor Volpe, Senator John F. Kennedy who later on became the President of the United States of America.

I also have met Martin Luther King he was so nice.

I can remember the Black conferences that were held 4 times a year. Many Black ministers came together. I did flip over one of them but do not remember who he was I was still young. I associated with more blacks then whites they understood me and did not make in fun of me.

One time my daddy was called out to save this man that was on the Prudential Building in Boston Mass. The man had a gun wanted to kill him self as he jumped. My dad talked him into giving up the gun and coming inside this took 5 hrs along time and all I could see was my dad being killed it was a very scarred feeling inside.

When my mom daddy and sister Carolann were in a big car accident in Beverly Mass. the Blacks took care of us. Mom was in the hospital she had a broken collar bone and fractured her back she was in a bed with weights and a pulley to help pull her up she also had a mirror as she was on her stomach so she could see us. In those days the children were allowed in the hospital. Mom cried a lot as she was in a lot of pain. I was scared she would not make it. The accident was in the newspapers and on the news. Kids who had been out drinking hit them it was during a bad snowstorm. They got off stupid kids they stole their fathers car. We use to help out at home. How terrible it would have been if mom never a came home again. Dad did not smile till mom came home sometimes he was short tempered he really loved mom a lot as she did him.

We use to go into the section of the hospital and sing to the patients who were dying. There were only men in that ward I also use to help them write letters and mail them and sit with them and talk, get their water and help feed them. You should have seen the look in their eyes you would have thought I had given them a million dollars. I felt so good inside. I became really attached to this one man he was blind I sang him the song he loved but do not remember what song. The next day I went in to see him and was told he had passed away in his sleep. Needless to say I did not go back there for a few weeks.

I use to take baton lessons with Dot Slamin Hill I never could get use to catching it. Some how it use to hit the floor one time I almost got Dot on the head with it was I ever a menace to society. Then I took ballet lessons and tap dancing the ballet shoes were hard like cement in them my toes use to bleed I hated that. How I wanted to stop those lessons soon I did was I ever glad. I took tap dancing that I loved it was hard work and doing the recitals for the parents.

We use to live on Middle Street Court. We lived upstairs in those days we had a crank phone and the live operators use to baby-sit us. We had a shower stall there was no tub and I hated it. I do remember Hurricane Caroline daddy was out in it just came home and opened the door and tree fell and blocked the door. It was a few days before everything was cleared up she did a lot of damage. There was an apartment on the sided of the house their kid was a brat always doing something and getting us into trouble it was bad when we got slapped for some thing we did but not for what that kid did.

I remember the days when we had a crank telephone you would pick up the phone and talk to the operator she would be our babysitter and help me with my homework. We were never alone. Today there is no live voice on the phone to help us just a stupid recording,

My Daddy was a constable for the city I remember him sitting at a desk smoking a pipe he put whiskey tobacco in I sure smelled so good. I cannot remember if we lived at the Gore Estate. I have a picture of my dad sitting at is desk writing. Many years before he died he wrote a manuscript Bible colleges. The manuscript was destroyed by water. He never published it.

I remember mom being a nurse she was supervisor of the nursing home she really loved her job. I use to go with her at night she worked the 11 to 7 shift. The cook use to leave cookies or cake and milk out for me. One time there was a bat that got in the building and man he kept coming after me mom called the police who finally caught it. When she got off duty I would go to school.

When I was 12 I got a job as a babysitter for 50 cents an hour I use to be able to keep 50 cents my mom got the rest it was for room and board. I use to buy mom a lot of things thinking I would get them when I was married.

Going back in time again!

I used to date a police officer it was fun we would go to our favorite parking place and turn on the siren and watch everyone gun their guys up and leave fast. Now that was fun.

And time us kids us to open the bar room doors and sing " How drunk I am how drunk I am no body knows how drunk I am " and run like hell.

We use to go to the Charles River and have a war with the North side of the City and get out our slingshots and fire nuts or stones at them. That was fun.

I remember being in church sitting in the balcony and throwing spitballs off a guy's head him was bald.

We use to have spaghetti dinners at our house with the locals coming to it then we would head out to another ones house for dessert and then to someone else's home for a drink of soda. The Protestant Council of Churches put that on.

Our parents use to put on plays to help fund the Council of churches.

I remember going into a Catholic Church and going in to the confessional booth and saying forgive me Father for I have sinned. He called my name out and called my dad. I was in deep trouble. I remember going into the Embassy theater and getting thrown out for kissing a guy they use to flash the flashlights in our eyes did not see him never did learn my lesson. In those days the made sure you watched the movie and not doing anything else. They use to have a man with a monkey before the show it was neat.

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